Motherhood and Wellness
M O T H E R H O O D + W E L L N E S S
“Having children just puts the whole world into perspective. Everything else just disappears.”
– Kate Winslet
Welcome to my blog!
If you’re new here, thank you so much for visiting my blog! You are the reason I started this thing. I’ve always had a fire for writing, and I’ve written about many things in the past. But nothing as real and raw as Motherhood.
Becoming a mama has changed me and has taken over my whole heart in a way that I never knew possible. Only mothers can relate to each other, and understand how hard this role can be. Nobody gets it like we do, and nobody multitasks like we do. Because of us, our families thrive. It’s exhausting, but so beautiful.
I wanted to write this Motherhood and Wellness blog in a way that sounded like a love letter to mamas everywhere, and to make you feel validated and heard. Maybe you will read something on this blog that prepares you for a stage that hasn’t happened yet, or there’s something you’ve been through that brings comfort that you’re not alone.
Motherhood is hard. It’s real and raw, and no one can prepare you for any of it. But knowing that we are all in it together, makes me feel like, I can do this! And so can you mama!
Let’s get to know each other better! Follow me on Instagram: @messiimanda
This place is for you, mama!
If you’re new here, welcome to my blog! Join me on my motherhood journey and let’s be friends!
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- 5 Fall Activities To Do With Your Toddler
- Bedtime routine for my 1st grader As Jackson has grown, his bedtime routine has grown with him. But when I look back at the tweaks I’ve made with his routine, I realize there aren’t big differences. The order of all the tasks have remained the same because I’m a HUGE believer in consistency. It’s what keeps everybody on track and I know that kids thrive on it. But when I had Isabella, his routine got more rocky and stressful while I worried constantly about the baby being woken up before I got through with Jackson’s bedtime. Now that Isabella has her own routine, and sleeps through the night, I can focus on Jackson just like I used to. In another blog post, I’ll share Isabella’s routine, and how she goes to bed at 7:00pm now that she has dropped her second nap. So then I have another hour and a half before Jackson gets ready for bed. Because of their 5.5 year age gap, their bedtime needs are so different and are very spread out which I’m thankful for. Knowing Isabella is fast asleep in her crib is comforting and gives me back my one-on-one time with Jackson. My relationship with him is just as important as it’s always been, and I never want him to feel like our time together has been taken from us all together. Our tasks leading to bedtime in certain order keep his mind on track and never a fight to get to bed. Baby J’s bedtime routine, or lack-there-of When Jackson was born, I didn’t even have a routine. Not at all. In fact, I didn’t think it mattered! He was a baby, so I figured that as long as we all go to bed, he knows it’s bedtime. But I was WRONG!!! He would get to bed whenever we went to bed, and as adults, our bedtimes are way too late for a baby. Like 10:00! And guess what? It was very hard to get him to fall asleep. A baby’s bedtime depends on their age and range of “wake windows”, which I knew nothing about back then. I didn’t realize that babies DO NEED A ROUTINE because it actually trains their brain to wind down for sleep. It helps them fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. So when Isabella was born, I had already done a lot of research on baby sleep and I started her bedtime routine right away. Like that second night of her life. I took a baby sleep course and everything! When I sleep trained her at 6 months old, we took her existing routine and switched it to start in her own room, and introduced book reading before bed. This continues to work perfectly for her. Consistency is key! With Jackson, I created his routine as he got older, especially when we moved to our current home so that we could create a “brand new normal” routine. He was almost 2 years old by then but he grasped the flow. If you feel like your children have a rocky bedtime and have a hard time following routine, I have tips! Also, it’s never too late to start a routine. As long as you repeat the same tasks on a nightly basis, you are doing it right. Whether you do one big routine with all kids together, or separately for each one, do what works best for you, and you will get in the rhythm quickly. Jackson’s bedtime routine 8:00pm – Pyjamas on. Then he can play or watch a show for 30 minutes. 8:30pm – teeth brushed, face and hands washed. 8:45pm – cuddles in my bed for some stories, I usually limit these to 3 per night. It’s just always been 3 stories, even when he was 2 years old. 9:00pm – in his bed, say “goodnight, love you” and maybe have some talks about the day, more “goodnights”, some questions asked, more “goodnights”. Some nights we start 15 minutes earlier if I feel he needs an earlier bedtime, and weekends can sometimes be a bit later too. Jackson is 6.5 years old, so he can handle a later bedtime but only by about an hour. This only started happening within the last couple of years. As a kindergartener, he still needed that extra sleep since he was just starting to skip naps. Side note: This is where his bedtime routine ends, and he goes to sleep, but some nights he comes into our room around midnight to sleep on the floor beside the bed. I keep my big blanket there just in case he does this, because if he feels like he needs to be close to me, and he’s going back to sleep, I’ll allow it. If it becomes a habit after a few nights, we have to get tough with him and convince him to stay in his room all night so that he sleeps better, and so do we. I wake up every time I hear him walk into our bedroom at night and it disturbs my sleep. Tristan leaves for work at 4am so if Jackson climbs into my bed after that, I allow that too. He always goes right back to sleep and for some reason I can still sleep again for the next 2 hours. Even older children wake in the night! Some day, it will stop. When I sleep trained Jackson Jackson was sleep trained at 15 months, because I just wasn’t comfortable with it until then. Some could consider that “late in the game”, but he was still waking every 2 hours at night and I had just started a new job by then. I needed to get my sleep. I wanted to excel in my career and it wasn’t going to work on very little sleep. I dreaded the nights for this. I was a slave to a waking toddler, and I needed to claim my nights back! I would go into his room a few times just to reassure him that he didn’t need me, do the typical “wait 10 minutes” thing, and after 2 LOOONG weeks, he finally started sleeping through the night. It was glorious! Sleep training Jackson. Again! When we moved to a new house before he turned 2 years old, I had to re train him to sleep on his own. It made sense. New house, new room, of course it was going to make him insecure and scared to sleep alone. It was so frustrating this time though, because he put up quite a fight at that age. When he finally started sleeping through the night again, he was still in a crib so stayed there all night, and we all had our nights back. When we switched him to his “big boy bed” he did so well, and just loved sleeping there. But after a couple of years, he started getting scared again and running to our room. It’s typical for kids to do this at all ages. Even at 6.5 years old, Jackson will often need the comfort of being close to us. So a few nights a week, we do have to tell him to stay in his bed. Every kid is different though, and these habits don’t last forever. I’ve made my peace with it. Jackson is a sensitive kid, and he will always need the comfort on some level. In conclusion… These kinds of mornings are getting to be less and less and I know one day he will stop needing to be close to me in the night. Especially now having Isabella, I see how time just races by. Our babies are only babies for a few short years. Then it’s over and they are grown. Being Jackson’s mommy, and carrying out the same bedtime routine has felt like a blur when I look back, but there are little moments I’ll never let myself forget. Our bedtime stories in his room used to be in my lap, then he would play on the rug beside his bed as I read, and now they are in my bed, where it’s brighter than the glow of his night light, where we can be more cozy and comfortable. I know that some day we will stop doing our bedtime stories and that will probably make me sad. Jackson pretty much navigates how his routine changes as he grows, and although that’s just a tiny fragment of change he will make in his life, those are the memories I will tuck away in my heart forever.
- Creating a grocery list on a budget Let’s face it mama, this world we live in is getting tougher and tougher by the day. Whether you are a working mom or SAHM, prices of food are making it harder to stick to a budget or avoid wasting food that you definitely didn’t need to buy, and not having enough stocked up to last you to the next shopping trip. (I’m guilty of all these things). Having a basic idea of what your family members tend to like for quick breakfasts and snacks help to keep your pantry stocked as well. For me, my biggest down falls for planning a grocery list are figuring out what I need for dinner preps, and not checking what I already have enough of to save me from extra purchases that are so unnecessary. I end up over-buying, even things that I think we need but don’t. A “6 item grocery list” quickly becomes a “35 item list” because I went through aisles with decor, office supplies, and fancy hand lotions. So why do I do this to myself? It’s my weakness. Shopping at a one-stop-shop like Walmart, when I really just needed those 6 items, is dangerous on a budget. What do I do? The truth is, there are ways of figuring out a smart grocery list, but you have to stay organized. Whenever a new week begins, and I’ve forgotten to create a meal plan or grocery list, I end up scrambling through the kitchen to see what I’m out of, or what I’ll need for the week to feed these tiny humans with healthy meals. This is still a good strategy for building your list, don’t get me wrong. But I always have to have it figured out before my shopping day or something gets forgotten, and I’m walking through the grocery aisles throwing unnecessary items in my cart. So! Let’s take a look at a few lists of food staples, meal ideas, and tips on how to stay on track and on budget. It will help get started, and it’s always just the basics. Feel free to add your favourites. Eggs Veggies Staple veggies: Carrots Broccoli Spinach Cauliflower Sweet potatoes Yellow potatoes Onions Garlic (yes, it’s a vegetable) Lettuce 3. Fruit Fruits available year round: Strawberries Bananas Oranges Apples Kiwi Frozen berries Tip**purchasing frozen fruits and veggies is always a money saver. The fresh fruit will be whatever your family eats within the week. 4. Dairy Milk Cheese Yogurt 5. Lean meat Whole chicken Ground chicken Chicken thighs or drums Chicken breasts Ground beef Ground turkey 6. Pantry staples Pasta Instant (or regular) brown or white rice Spices and dried herbs Dry beans (white/kidney beans etc.) Lentils Oats Tortillas Sliced bread Flour Sugar and/or honey Cereal Peanut butter 7. Canned foods Tomatoes (purée, diced) Broth Tuna 8. Frozen food Fruit Vegetables Hash browns French fries (and sweet potato fries) Pizza Ravioli Tip**Investing in a deep freezer for the basement will help you keep stocked up on frozen foods. We even have an extra fridge in the basement where we keep meat for the week that can defrost. 5 Bonus Tips on saving money with groceries Stock up on favourite items when they’re on sale (get the app “Flipp” for deals in your area) Plan meals based on listed items Check out clearance section Buy the generic brand Stick to your list 10 Meals on a Budget Tacos BBQ Pulled Chicken (in the slow cooker) Homemade burgers Spaghetti Quesadillas Sloppy Joes Pizza (using homemade or store-bought dough, or english muffins, bagels, or flat bread) Breakfast for dinner (eggs, sausage, buttered toast) Meatloaf Salad (make it all veggie or lettuce version) Those other meals Save those pancake breakfasts for Sunday, and serve up a muffin or cereal for a school day to keep it simple and stress free. School lunches don’t have to be extravagant or stressful either. I’ve learned to just keep lots of snacks, both healthy and fun, and maybe a small ham and cheese sandwich. Crackers, granola bars, apple sauce, carrot sticks, are all great snacks to have prepped for each day to quickly throw in a lunch pale. Often Jackson will finish all his snacks because he likes to pick away at his food during school. If he is too chatty at lunchtime and can’t finish everything, it’s okay. They are snacks that can be repacked tomorrow or eaten after school. Dinners are my only real “plan-out meal” because I want everyone to have at least one decent meal to look forward to after their long day. Get to know your families taste and have them vote on favourites, giving you ideas for your weekly meals. If you’re a family that cooks together, or your partner is the main chef in the house, work on your lists together. After all, sharing meals you love is one of the ways we bond as a family unit. In conclusion I hope these lists help you mama. Parenthood is hard enough without stressing over what to make for dinner, what to put in lunch boxes, and making one meal that the whole family will eat. Especially when you’re on a budget. Always having a basic knowledge of cooking and what pairs well with side dishes, will definitely help you bring a whole meal together. Having your food prepped or ideas lined up for each day that week, will help big time when you don’t have all day to stress about being prepared. Plus you will stay on track with your budget. Choose a day of the week where you can focus on your grocery list and meal ideas and it will all fall into place! Good luck mama!
- Activities to do with your tiny toddler Have a Tiny Toddler? What the heck is a “tiny toddler” you ask?? I’m talking about a toddler that is between 12-18 months old, when they are walking and exploring but still very new to their world. Indoor and outdoor. The outdoors is still very new to them and this is where you can really allow them to take it all in. Your backyard, or the park, there is enough in just a small space for them to hear, smell, touch and see. The best thing with this age is that you have been waiting all year for your baby to be able to do their own thing, and now they can! Isabella is walking, she has her own pair of shoes, and she’s able to get out there and have new experiences. Outdoor Nature walk: Whether it’s in the stroller or walking side by side, going out for a nature walk can be so much fun for your tiny toddler. They get to feel independent but still safe with you. And any kind of outdoor time means fresh air for both of you. Point out the trees, flowers, and birds that you encounter on your walk to help with vocabulary! There’s lots to see and talk about out there. Park: watching your tiny toddler discover a playground is one of the cutest things! Everything is so exciting to climb on and jump on, swings are always a hit, and getting to run around in a wide open space gives them freedom to burn off energy. Just be there to show them that they’re safe while climbing with you there and they will get a chance to learn how the jungle gym works. As your tiny toddler explores climbing, learning to trust themselves is a big milestone. Backyard hose fun: On a nice warm day, cool water with the garden hose can be the best way to cool off and discover fun with water. The tickles of the spray on their arms and legs is like a whole new world for a tiny toddler. They usually only touch water at bath time. So play around with the different settings on your nozzle and let your child have some cold water fun. As they get older they like to be in control of the water as well. Jackson used to just spray down his toys and fill buckets, which would keep him busy for about an hour. Bubble chasing: Grabbing a big container of bubbles from the dollar store and blowing bubbles in the backyard make a great chase game. Trying to catch bubbles or pop them in the air is a fun way to burn energy and use play time outdoors. Every child loves bubbles! Even from the tiny toddler age. Water table: one of the best memories to make in the summer weather with your sweet tiny toddler is how they discover the fun of water that isn’t the bath tub. Playing with a water table and a bunch of toys that bob, sink and pour. Water tables can keep your child busy for a long time while spending time outside (in the shade preferably) so you can both play or you can watch your tiny toddler enjoy the water while you sit and read. If your backyard lacks in “high ticket” items, having a water table is all you need. Oh, and a hose! Need the water too! Here is a water table from Amazon, it’s not the most high end, but it’s the more affordable option: https://amzn.to/3yDGxNr Indoor Baby puzzles: your tiny toddler is learning to “put 2 and 2 together”. Not mathematically of course. I’m talking puzzles! Wooden puzzles are great, I love Melissa and Doug animal puzzles. They are easy to grab, colourful, and place easily into their spot. They even make animal sounds! It’s a learning trifecta, fine motor skills, animal names, animal sounds. Show your child how to put things where they go, and quickly you’ll see that they can do it themselves when they have independent play. Here’s my link to the Farm animal puzzle: https://amzn.to/3rM95QY. Here’s my link to the Wild animals puzzle: https://amzn.to/3BvhmfL Stacking games: do you ever stack blocks for a tiny toddler and their immediate response to this is to knock it down? It’s every time. But this is a good thing! It’s “cause and effect” and your child is learning this and realizing that the things they do have consequence. Very important life skill. But this is also super fun to bring blocks crashing down to the floor. Stacking any objects to find out how high they go, and how many things you can stack is a fun game for any child. Here’s my link for our favourite block set: https://amzn.to/3FZPz9h Bath tub play: Get ready to be splashed! Tiny toddlers LOVE making splashes in the bath, and learning what all their tub toys do. Toys that pour, swim, squirt water, and light up give your child a new perspective on play. Let them explore these bath toys while you wash their hair, and then join in the fun by showing your tiny toddler what everything can do. Isabella loves the toys that let water fall out of different holes, creating a shower effect. Here’s my link for some bath toys: https://amzn.to/37QLsQe Reading books: I’ve been reading to Isabella almost right from the newborn stage, so she welcomes any book that’s introduced to her. You tiny toddler loves to explore turning pages, and seeing the pictures on the book, just make sure these are board books. Isabella has ripped some paper pages in some of our books already. They can get massacred. We read books at nap time and bedtime, but many times during the day we grab a book to look at, and it keeps her interested for a few minutes. You’ll obtain many books in the first few years of your child’s life but check out the amazing resource of your Local Library for an endless book supply. Jackson and I used to walk to our library every week to check-out new books and it was a real part of our “to do list” all year round. It helped us find new books and not be bored with the ones we have at home. Once Isabella came along, we put the library visits on hold because it just got too busy and we resulted to our tablet for “stories read aloud” videos for Jackson’s bedtime. Check out Awnie’s House on YouTube if you want to try some books online. Now that Isabella is old enough to enjoy books with us, we’ve reintroduced the tradition of walking to the library and stocking up for the week. Also, find out the book limit your library offers and the amount of check-out time you have. Our library offers unlimited books for 3 week check-out, so we usually grab about 10 books to last us. Cleaning: yes. I said cleaning. That chore we all hate. But hear me out! Your tiny toddler is watching. Watching us in the kitchen, watching us on the toilet, and watching us clean. Isabella loves wiping things. She always manages to take out her wipes from her change table and I’ll catch her “wiping” the coffee table, the floor, her play kitchen, everything. That’s when I realized the most, I clean a lot! But no regrets! Cleaning is important of course, but it’s training our tiny toddlers that this is necessary and learning to clean up after themselves is apart of responsibility. Looking back, Jackson enjoyed the Swiffer, and the Swiffer duster. He would definitely use them the right way too! It becomes a fun activity and helps you out at the same time. Most importantly, your tiny toddler KNOWS they are helping you and that’s a big deal. It makes them feel important and useful. Plus, they want to be just like mama and daddy! Here’s my link for the Swiffer Dry+Wet sweeper starter kit: https://amzn.to/3FUSUpW In conclusion, just have fun!
- 5 activities to do with your preschooler Your little one is quickly learning to use their hands and motor skills for things that help them learn and have some fun. From glueing and colouring, to putting on their socks, these skills are important for your preschooler as they approach the kindergarten stage, and there are many ways to practise these skills. I put together a list of top 5 activities for your preschooler: Crafts – seasonal and special events: Anytime a special date, event, or even a new season is hitting the calendar, it’s the perfect inspiration for any craft. Each month, there’s at least one thing to acknowledge, whether it’s Valentine’s Day, Canada Day, or the start of Autumn. Pinterest is a great search engine for crafts, if you need ideas. Hit up your local dollar store for supplies, they usually have everything you need and most of the time, things you didn’t know you needed. Doing crafts isn’t just a learning tool, but also an opportunity to bond with your child over construction paper and cotton balls, keep them busy on a lazy day at home, and using their imagination to create something interesting. 2. Learning activities – flashcards and games: There can be opportunity put aside for learning any time of the day when you are home with your preschooler, but one of our favourite bedtime activities was flashcards. It was the best way for Jackson to focus because he wasn’t surrounded by toys or television. And for us, we really took advantage of this particular activity when the 2020 Covid pandemic started, and Jackson was in S.K. I didn’t want him to miss out on keeping up with his letters and sight words, so Flashcards were really handy. We spread them out on his bed, and went through the alphabet and the sounds each letter makes. It was a great way to bond and get him excited about knowing his letters and sight words. It was at his own pace and on our own time so it was a new way of learning and connecting with no pressure. 3. Outdoor play – scavenger hunts: Checking out all the different parks in our area was always one of our favourite ways to spend time outside. Jackson loved exploring different parks and climb and make new friends. Or, on any kind of day, whether it be a beautiful sunny day or cloudy but comfortable for walks, getting outdoors for a scavenger hunt can keep your child’s mind busy and get them using their little minds to look for things in nature. Choose a topic and search the neighbourhood for colours, shapes, leaves, birds, anything you can come up with to create a scavenger hunt, and have something exciting to talk about later in the day. It’s a great way to get back to nature and get your little one excited about the outdoors. There is so much more to discover out there! 4. Painting – freestyle pictures: If you “brush” aside the idea of a mess, painting can be so much fun for any child. Whether it’s an existing picture from a colouring book, or just freehand rainbows and flowers, painting is a great way to experiment with colours and imagination. It can also feel like the perfect time to be “free” and be artistic. Jackson seemed to love the painting station at our local Early Years Centre, and occasionally at home. Just put some newspapers down on the surface of choice, open up some paints, and place a blank sheet of paper. Give a few ideas of what they can do, or just let them do their thing. 5. Activity books – patterns and matching games: Getting ahold of some activity books that contain colouring pages, mazes, maps and crossword puzzles is a great tool to have especially for travelling or when you don’t have the time to invest in a lot of set-up of materials. We were given a handmade Letter Box from a family member to practice words with magnetic letter and popsicle sticks with words to spell out. When you’re out and about, like on a road trip or at a restaurant waiting for your food to arrive, pulling out an activity book helps pass the time and gives your child something to focus on and also be creative with. And before they know it, their meal has arrived!